A Beginners Guide to Healing from the Past

Not all things can go away when we want them to.

But how exactly do we heal from the past, especially in the midst of immense hurt?

It’s a question many of us ask ourselves each time we experience heartache or emotional pain, and sometimes there’s no direct remedy to fix what you are going through.
Holding on to the past can be a conscious decision just like choosing to let go and moving on. If you’re trying to move forward from a painful experience, here are 6 tips to help you get started.

Be gentle with yourself

Hurt is inevitable, and we may not be able to avoid pain; however, we can choose to treat ourselves kindly when it comes.

Being gentle with yourself looks like avoiding hurtful words and self-sabotaging behaviors.

Accepting negative emotions

Oftentimes, people are afraid of feelings such as grief, anger, or disappointment. Rather than feeling them, we try to shut them out, which can disrupt the process of healing.

One way of accepting your feelings is understanding that these emotions won’t last forever.

The first step in healing is acceptance.

Vent to a trusted friend/family member

In a time where everything is aired on social media, venting to someone you trust can be difficult.

One of the major ways to avoid this form of drama is to step away from technology and connect with someone who has your best interest in mind.

One advantage of talking to a trusted friend is the ability to talk about what you are feeling in a judgment-free environment.Seeking therapy is also a great way to organize your thoughts productively.


Breaking the cycle

While we can’t change the past, we can change the present, and by doing so, change the past.

Remember the times you should have spoken up but didn’t? All of the things that you swept under the rug?

You are automatically creating a new narrative that matches what you’re currently going through and it needs to stop.

By consciously changing what we do in the present we inadvertently break the cycle of our past.

Stop being the victim

In a lot of cases, being the victim feels good. It’s like being on the winning side of your favorite sports team.

But guess what? No one cares.

This isn’t to say that your feelings don’t matter. But it also doesn’t mean that only your feelings matter and no one else’s.

Practice forgiveness

Everyone deserves our forgiveness. Sometimes we get stuck in our stubbornness while dealing with pain, we can’t even imagine forgiveness.

But forgiveness isn’t saying, “I agree with what you did.” Instead, it’s saying, “I don’t agree with what you did, but I forgive you anyway.”


All of your feelings are legitimate. It’s important to feel them fully, and then move on.

Whether you are experiencing the passing of a loved one, breakup, or other, healing from your past can be done if you really want to work towards renewal.

What are some ways that you practice self-healing? Let us know in the comments below!

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