Would you consider yourself a gentle parent?
LET’S Face It folks, PARENTING IS TOUGH AND ROUGH! Whether you’re a biological parent, single parent, raising children in a two parent household, stepparent, foster parent, or a dog parent-because let’s face it fur babies be doing the most too there is no generic one-size-fits-all manual or even a blueprint on parenting for that matter Raising children is hard work and is definitely NOT for the weary and faint of heart-even though you will be weary and experience faintness of heart, more times than not! It is a full-time gig that forces you to work 1000 PLUS hours a week PLUS overtime with no PTO, vacation pay, oh and don’t even think about calling in sick because that ain’t gonna happen!
Chileeeee, am I right about it? The good thing or shall I say upside about parenting is that there is no such thing as a perfect parent, BUT there is a such thing as being a bad/ toxic parent.
Allow me to elaborate…..
So many of us were either raised by happy, healthy, and whole parents while the other half of us-EH, not so much. On one hand we have the kind-hearted, tender, loving and affectionate parents and on the other hand we have those authoritative “beat you like you stole God’s supper” type of parents! Beloved, which ones were you raised by? Naw, scratch that, if you are a parent, WHICH ONE ARE YOU? Regardless of your answer, know that it is not too late to be the mom or dad you wish you had nor is it too late to be the parent you always wanted or dreamed of being some day!
I’m so glad you asked. Just keep reading.
Is YOUR History Repeating Itself?
Ask yourself, “Am I inflicting the same pain and trauma that I experienced growing up unto my own child(ren)? Unbeknowst too many of us, in some form or fashion, we are still dealing and hopefully healing from our childhood trauma(s) from long ago. So in turn, we have unhealed grown girls and grown boys raising children that will have to deal and eventually heal from being raised by an unhealed, narcissistic, emotionally unstable grown girl/ grown boy. Wheww that’s a lot to unpack, I know. But fret not because there is hope and that hope can be found through changing up your techniques and parenting styles through what psychologists like to call, gentle parenting.
” It Is Easier To Build Strong Children Than To Repair Broken Men.”- Fredrick Douglass
Gentle Parenting 101
In short, gentle parenting affects and infects both parents and children,in a good way of course. In order to best practice gentle parenting, a mom or dad must first possess an undeniable willingness to be a gentle parent and that requires for you as a parent to be gentle, peaceful, and positive with your child, first and always. While this concept seems far-fetched and easier said than done, it CAN and MUST be done if your hearts desire is to raise positive, respectful, non-combative children.
According to GoodToKnow,
Parenting styles are often widely debated, as they can range from the strict methods of tiger parents, to the more relaxed approach of permissive parents and therapeutic parents, among others. Here we look at the aspects of gentle parenting, and how it affects both adults and children.
Author and parenting expert Sarah Ockwell-Smith states that, “Gentle parenting isn’t really about using specific methods. It’s about an ethos and completely changing the way you think. It’s more a way of being than a way of doing. Approaching any and all parenting situations with empathy for the child and trying to understand the reasonings behind their behaviour, working together to change it positively and accepting what cannot be changed.’
By being fully present and aware as a gentle parent in turn equips you to manage your child’s feelings and needs which leaves little to no room for emotional misunderstandings, psychological traumas and behavioral mishaps.
HOPE FOR YOU AND YOUR CHILD’S FUTURE
Below you will find a few tips and tricks to implement into your NEW AND IMPROVED parenting skills/techniques.
- Realize and recognize that your child needs a healthy and stable parent NOT a dictator.
- With the help of God, do the inner work by dealing and healing with your own childhood trauma(s).
- Instead of yelling at your child, sit them down and talk to them gently and calmly.
- LET GO OF YOUR FOOLISH PRIDE AND APOLOGIZE to your child(ren). You could be doing more damage than you know in the long haul.
- Implement HEALTHY boundaries.
- BE Empathetic And Sympathetic
- Hug your child and love on them EVERYDAY.
- SHOW SOME R-E-S-P-E-C-T * cues Aretha
- Tell them that you love them and are proud of who they are.
- Encourage and uplift them when they’re unsure.
- Read books and study material on Gentle Parenting.
- Be the parent you always wish you had.
- Speak life into them. Don’t belittle them by saying mean and ugly things to them.
- Remember they have feelings too.
- Learn how to be your child’s role model AND best friend.
- Pray for and with your child(ren). “Train up a child in the way that he should go and when he gets old, he will not depart from it.” Proverbs 22:6
Beloved, In every age and stage of your child’s life, growth, and development CONTINUE to seek God’s face DAILY on how to deal with the children He’s trusted and blessed you with!