WHY am I not good enough?
Regardless of my rewards, degrees, certificates, titles, and accolades, why do I still feel like a failure?
Why can’t I ever do anything right?
What’s wrong with me?
In a world full of 7 billion people why am I the only one whose life sucks?!
Why do I always feel helpless and hopeless any and every time I set out to do something new?
WHY ME… LORD?!!
If any of these thoughts resonate with you, know that YOU ARE NOT ALONE! Each and every person on the face of this planet, including you and me, has wrestled with themselves to the point where we’ve all questioned our own existence. At least once, twice or three times….
We’ve all felt unqualified because we more than likely disqualified ourselves because of the unpleasant things we said to ourselves about ourselves. These unwanted gestures alongside the mounds of other negative ideas, patterns, preconceived notions, and perceptions that perpetually plague one’s mind has the propensity to leave one feeling lifeless.
Do you put way too much pressure on yourself to be perfect-even though perfection is only a mere myth? Do you ever find yourself questioning, second-guessing or ridiculing your God-given gifts, skills, talents, and abilities? Are you constantly pestering yourself about what you could’ve, would’ve or should’ve did right, but got it all wrong? Have you ever felt like a fraud in your own life? Do you always feel as if you don’t belong? If you answered YES! to any of these questions you might suffer from Impostor Syndrome!
AHHHH!!! Impostor Syndrome, WAIT! What’s that?
I’m so glad you asked.
In a nutshell, impostor syndrome is when you feel as if nothing, NO-THING you set your mind and heart out to do is never good enough regardless of how exceptionally well you may perform or excel at that particular gift, art, craft or task. You see my friend, impostor syndrome is “more than just a feeling.” Oh no, it can rear its’ ugly head in innumerable ways. Take EXHIBIT A for example:
- You’ve accomplished a major life goal/milestone in your life and people are running up to you praising/applauding you for your work. You smile REAL BIG, bat your eyelashes profusely, fake laugh, and say thank you very much, but then less than a millisecond later you’re cringing on the inside because YOU didn’t really pull that off all by yourself. NO WAY, NOT YOU! NOT (insert your name here). Someone else did. Someone else that looks just like you and is trapped inside of the same body as you, living your life! That wasn’t you -that was someone else. Someone else like who? A doppelgänger, perhaps? AH! OMG, NO! It’s a, it’s a… IMPOSTOR!
Take EXHIBIT B:
- It’s when you MAGNIFY and EXALT your weaknesses awhile lessening and dumbing down ALL that God has placed down inside of you! Oh! That was a Word for somebody because I know it was for me! Was it for you too boo? Well praise God and don’t forget to pass the collection plate!
You fear any and all types of success therefore the fear of failure keeps you stagnant and complacent all the days of your life.
So now that we have a brief synopsis of what impostor syndrome is, what are the leading factors and causes of it?
According to Psychology Today, Personality traits largely drive imposter syndrome: Those who experience it struggle with self-efficacy, perfectionism, and neuroticism. Competitive environments can also lay the groundwork. For example, many people who go on to develop feelings of impostorism faced intense pressure about academic achievement from their parents in childhood.
Oh you didn’t know? Impostor syndrome runs deep. So deep that it can stem back from your formative years. Now is not the time to blame your parents-even though you probably should. I’m joking….or am I? In all seriousness, if you’ve been feeling like a fake, fraud or phony the majority of your life I have good news for you! You don’t have to spend the coming minutes, hours, days, weeks, months, and even years hypnotized by your own lies and consumed with self-doubt. Nor do you have to constantly devalue your worth! YOU possess the power to break free from your own negative thought patterns, speech, unhealthy behavior, and trauma-infused coping mechanisms.
Below you will find a short list I created on how to break free from feeling like an impostor in your own life! (Note: This is not a cure for impostor syndrome or a ONE-SIZE-FITS-ALL, DO WHAT WORKS BEST FOR YOU)
- Suffering from impostor syndrome is not a mental health issue however in order to break the shackles of low self-esteem, fear, doubt, etc off of your mind, you must first RENEW YOUR MIND DAILY. Once you start thinking better about yourself you’ll eventually start striving for GREATER!
- Once you start thinking better, slowly but surely you’ll begin to start speaking to yourself in a more positive tone. Remember, life and death are in the power of the tongue and eventually you eat the fruit of your words. Proverbs 18:21
- Remind yourself of how amazing you are and all that you’ve accomplished thus far. * If you don’t celebrate your every step-regardless of how big or small-you’ll always feel defeated!
- Seek Godly counsel or guidance from someone whose overcome what you’re trying to tackle.
- Expect to fail, but never accept total defeat.
REMEMBER YOU ARE MORE THAN A CONQUEROR!