5 Things Men Look For

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Imagine yourself walking down the street. You’re enjoying a casual stroll through a fairly busy city block. The sun is shining beautifully as the leaves of most trees show their stunning autumn colors as Fall encroaches. Despite the change in season, the temperature is extremely comfortable and you happen to have on one your favorite outfits that you radiate confidence in. Everything about your day has been as perfect as you can want, for everything has gone your way. Now as you’re walking, even though you are in a busy part of town you reach a point that isn’t as crowded. Despite just minding your business, you can’t help but notice a gentlemen catch your attention. This guy doesn’t seem like your average Joe and you actually become a bit nervous the closer you two approach each other. You’re not sure why, but you really want this guy to talk to you. You’re showing zero signs of interest, yet deep down it would make your perfect day somehow even better if this guy attempted to start a conversation. Surely if he has interest he WILL speak to you right? Being a woman, surely you would never approach him, a stranger… at least majority of you won’t. Either way, even with you two making eye contact for a second or so, he continues his pace through the city and you two never cross each other’s path again. Or scenario B happens where you two do exchange numbers just to find in a short period of time he is like the stereotypical man looking for sex only and isn’t one to build a future with. Both cases leaving you feeling empty and out of place or played and frustrated.

Now, in a world where a lot of us fantasize about romance and wonder about our future husbands or wives, this type of let down and disappointment is very common. Especially for most women today, who feel that social media has slandered the image of what it looks like to be a desirable girlfriend/wife. Many women, according to my experiences, feel that if they aren’t vulgar or seductive enough in some ways that men simply won’t give them the same attention. Or, if they do get that attention, they feel most men take advantage of their more genuine personalities and ultimately they are left hurt, undetermined, and confused as to what men are even looking for in women these days.

Now I say all that to state, I feel your pain. Simply put, I understand the heartaches and bitterness towards the idea of relationships or marriage because of how illogical and backwards our models of relationship have become. That in addition to all the games and buffoonery that eem to fall upon most people seeking Mr or Mrs Right. Therefore today, we are going to discuss the top FIVE THNGS men, the ones worth marrying, look for in a woman other than looks!

Hopefully, this excerpt reaches you in a way that does help incorporate improvement into your love life or at least increases the quality of men you are coming across. Before we continue, I will give disclaimer that this does not work for any apps in which swiping left or right are the main choices of engagement. If you are truly trying to improve your love life you should do away with those apps… otherwise you clearly will get shallow, lust-seeking individuals. Nonetheless, here are the five things us men look for in a woman other than looks.

Appearance.

Try not to confuse this with looks. To distinct the two, I describe looks as something like your gender or birthday. None of us can control how we physically look in terms of our genetics. Just as we can’t choose the day we’re born or what gender we come out as. What each person can control Is their appearance! Yes, this seems so common sense and elementary however, it’s time to really put more thought into how we choose to look. Understanding how other people perceive us based on clothing, outfits you are putting together, or eve vocabulary can affect how someone “sees” you. Some women go with the mantra “just because I’m dressed like x doesn’t mean y” and although that can be true… I’ll give some examples as to why that confuses the men you would naturally attract and you end up attracting those you can’t take serious. One example is a cop or traffic guard. Very extreme example but serves its purpose. If I were to dress as a policemen or crossing guard surely people would think I am one. We all know the rule with assuming and how we should never do so but some things are assumed while other things are naturally perceived. Just because the bus schedule says it will arrive a certain time, I should not assume it will arrive exactly at that listed time. However, if I see a bus designed in the same fashion and model as the bus I am waiting for it is natural to think that that is the bus I am waiting for… not someone who randomly bought a bus and chose to design it in identical fashion. Some women, quite frankly, dress themselves in a vulgar or raunchy fashion, but expect to attract clean-cut, professional individuals. That method of thinking will never work, and actually disagrees with natural law of attraction as I just explained with the bus example. This doesn’t only target those women but for all women. If you are tired of corporate, capitalistic personalities, then trying being a bit more casual on some occasions. The way you dress speaks for you before you can actually speak for yourself… make sure your clothes are talking with the same mindset you are thinking.

Energy/Personality.

This is a perfect Segway from the clothing. A lot of men, as they approach you whether you’re strangers or coworkers look for how a woman’s energy or personality meshes with their own. I admit, this is something some guys will overlook in the early going if the woman is very attractive however, no matter how beautiful or lacking thereof you are, personality always plays a factor and can easily make or break your fling/relationship. It is always best to be yourself and if it doesn’t work it doesn’t work. Best to be yourself and not force anything with someone than to try and uphold a personality you don’t fully align with. It takes a lot of energy hold that façade and ultimately you and the person will get tired of it, thus resulting in a waste of time. Still, if you are being yourself and that guy feels and take a liking to your true personality, then you are that much closer to connecting with someone worthwhile… assuming his personality suits you.

Comfort.

This is one may seem random at first however this is something I feel we all look for. I don’t mean comfort in terms of letting him relax in your living-room while tea is brewing. I mean men like being comfortable enough to be confident around you. No man wants to feel awkward or weird around someone they are considering to be with. This, like personality at times, can take a few weeks to a month to really get a good gauge on. Nevertheless, in a world where social media has proven to be a central factor in how we think, grow, and do business, comfortability is key in growing with and dating someone. No guy wants to be around a woman he feels he has to constantly conform or diminish himself for or one he feels that is too judgmental on his opinion and vice versa. We catch enough slack from social media, which you can argue is not necessary to have but that’s like saying a VCR is just as good as Blu-ray. Social media drives business and marketing these days and has become a part of our everyday lives of commerce. Still, providing a comfortable atmosphere, or just being more open and less judging goes a far way in falling for someone.

Contribution

I could have probably used a different word here but for lack of a better one I used contribution. This one is simple, straightforward and easy to grasp. All I mean is, most men want a woman who isn’t too needy. We understand that we are the main providers and protectors in a relationship and men have come to terms with that. We are used to paying for majority or everything, and putting that extra effort in that gets lost in the form of obligatory actions we are supposed to do… and we accept that. Still men look for a woman worth building a future with. We want someone who can contribute to our idea of a happy lifestyle… and this clearly works both ways. Problem is, some women feel that their beauty and loyalty is all they have to contribute. Independency of women is at an all-time high and women are progressively raising the bar in terms of their earnings. Still, plenty of women give off the energy that they are using men for dates, fun, and just the experience of being taken out. All of these actions have a reaction and ultimately has caused for majority of men to be a bit skeptical when it comes to dating. Therefore, in the early going, showing that you can contribute, not only in regards to money, but providing some effort and not leaving everything to the guys goes a far way. Remember, both of you are just getting to know each other. No one wants to put out a crazy amount of effort for someone they don’t know. Yet, this has become a standard for first dates and that bit of contribution or the willingness to help, even if miniscule, goes a far way in leaving a great impression on the guy you want.

Realness (Confidence).

Honestly, there is no secret or code to attracting the right man for you. All of the things mentioned above will undoubtedly work if you are ultimately being yourself and staying true and real to who you are. Being true and real to yourself always projects a confidence that mean are attracted to. Admitting you like certain things and disliking others and letting your passion reveal itself some. These are basic concepts but you get the point. Don’t just try and follow the crowd because you’re always going to be a part of that crowd and attract the things and people that that crowd attracts. Instead, be confident in yourself and don’t try to please everyone… that’s impossible. Instead focus on what makes you happy, and you will begin to attract ad be surrounded by people who naturally have more in common with you making it easier to meet like-minded people. Just remember, don’t be afraid to be yourself and don’t be too shy when opening yourself up. Opening up can be scary, but it obviously is necessary in order to make real life connections. If you only want acquaintances then it’s ok to behave in a closed-off manner, however, if you want genuine, meaningful relationships you have to be yourself and be willing to let that possible significant other know the real you. Doesn’t have to be all at once, but some glimpse that they know you are unique and that you aren’t like everyone else. If you don’t show your uniqueness why would they think you to be special? If you’re a part of the crowd and don’t reveal yourself, surely you come off as replaceable and just a candidate for a short-lived fling, opposed to a serious relationship. In closing I want to say clearly the way a person looks is essentially the first thing that grabs any guy’s attention. I would be lying and foolish to say otherwise. That is just how men are. We breathe air, we have testosterone, and the way a woman looks is the first thing we take note of. Her face, body type, hygiene, these are all things we first observe when considering if we want to approach a woman. Still, you read through all of this for a reason and the five things discussed in this excerpt will surely assist you in meeting the man you desire and/or keeping that guy’s attention after the initial meet. The information provided should also help you repel some of the unwanted attention by making small changes to your thought process. I get that no women wants to have a restriction on what she can and can’t wear… but sometimes the choices of clothing you select or being overly opinionated and judging can quickly turn a guy off from being interested. Taking these basic ideas into consideration can vastly improve your results of meeting better quality men and having a better chance at being with someone who you are truly happy with as opposed to settling. Just remember the looks you can control matter more than the ones you can’t! Stay confident, be yourself and don’t settle.

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