Being from Philly, I watched Rocky a lot. I mean, I watched it more than little kids watch you eat. He was left handed just as I am and he was a fighter; literally and figuratively. The one thing about being a big a Rocky fan as I was, is that it pained you deeply to see him take a beating or to lose. And in every Rocky movie he would take a beaten or lose. We hate seeing our heroes lose, but if you watched enough Rocky you always knew at some point they would cue the music and he would get back up and be victorious.There are life lessons to be learned in seeing our heroes take a beaten, and there is hope to believe they will get back up and be victorious.
Mega movie star Brad Pitt spoke with GQ Style magazine and very openly and very humbly talked about his recent divorce from wife and equally famous movie star Angelina Jolie, his drinking problem and parenting. In this heartfelt interview, I discovered many elements that could be explored further that I am willing to bet all the money from the Oceans 11 heist that most of us have experienced. Do not be fooled, even if you have never been divorced or a drinking problem there are some life lessons here for you ahead.
For me, this period has really been about looking at my weaknesses and failures and owning my side of the street. - Brad Pitt
Life lesson one, owning your side of the street. In westernized culture, I understand that divorce may not seem like that a big deal. But divorce can be compared to having to surgically split twins at the head. It is splitting two people apart that were one. A forced divide is what a divorce is. So owning your side of the street while dealing with the massive pain is not some throwaway line, it is exceedingly difficult and essentially necessary for any level dissolution.
For some it is coming to grips with flunking Graduate school and having to reroute your career, some its breaking off an engagement, leaving a church you grew up in due to hurt and maybe for some it is losing a spouse. What it looks like to own your side of the street is saying I failed, period. Not I failed because. It’s saying my mistakes were caused by me but they will not continue on this new journey with me. In this old book that I like to read often, a guy name David says, I have sinned against you, and you alone.
Owning it does not make us feel better, but it does make us better. “I can’t remember a day since I got out of college when I wasn’t boozing or had a spliff, or something… I stopped everything except boozing when I started my family.”
Lesson two, it all has to go!! If you pour new wine into old wineskins will you not ruin them both? Sometimes we try to hold on to something and justify it based on what we gave up.
There’s’ a line in Oceans 11, where Julia Roberts character says to George Clooney’s character, “you’re a liar and a theft. He says I do not do that anymore, she says what steal, he says no lie.” He was still a theft and it is what kept them separated. The things we own that we cannot give up, we do not really own, it owns us.
“I heard one lawyer say, No one wins in court, it’s just a matter of who gets hurt worse.”
Lesson three, the way you were raised is not always the law of the land you should continue in. There is a part of this interview where Brad speaks about how he was not emotionally open with his children, and how that was a result of how he father was with him. There are some ways in which we go about think based on what we revere as law, and some of it has to change if we are going to be emotionally open enough to own our side of the street and drop everything we cling to that can cause more damage in our lives then we are willing to pay.
Being emotionally open allows you to inspect each situation differently instead of one automated response. It shows up with our children; and every other area of life. We do not ask for the needed help when we see we are failing or when we are running to our genie in the bottle to ease the weight of life. We are all on a platform of some level, spectacles on display and there are people that need us to be more, show more and admit when we are not been.
When we admit that what we have been is not all we can be, like a Rocky movie, that cues the music and gives hope that we will get back up and be victorious.