“Who hurt you?” Is the response I found in my inbox after sending a “No” to a guy that asked if he could call or text me sometime, who hurt me? Let’s be honest, the hurt me would quickly jump on the offer for him to hit me up some time because the hurt me didn’t want to deal with the hurt. Instead I preferred to operate in codependence praying the attention from someone else would throw a rug over my heart scabs helping me avoid the damage control required for me to heal. “Who hurt me?” I laughed because I’m not hurt at all, I’ve been hurt but am I holding on to any of it? No. See, I never thought it would be me fresh into 24 years of life, 2 years of marriage, and 2 kids in, going down to the court house to file my own divorce. Oh for sure I was hurt then but now, I know healing. I know healing to be a gift from my heavenly father because there was no way I was going to experience it through my own power.
I remember, feeling actual heat in my chest after being told that I was unwanted, that I wasn’t a good wife, and that I wasn’t enough. I thought I knew about heartbreak, I thought that every time I was dumped by a high school crush that that was the ultimate pain but something about this heartbreak was different. It seemed to last longer, it seemed to cut deeper; it seemed to reveal a piece of me that I didn’t know lived until somehow was quickened it through piercing emotional Pain. I thought I knew heartbreak. Apparently I didn’t. It felt as if I was stripped of everything and that there was absolutely no way anything good could come from this pain, from this broken version of me.
Maybe you know the feeling I’m referring to. Maybe you’re looking for the light at the end of the tunnel of heartbreak. I can tell you that there is light if you would just flick the switch. Heartbreak began gifting me. Months after mourning I decided that I didn’t want heartbreak to be the point where I stopped living. As soon as I made this decision heartbreak began gifting. I know right now, you probably don’t want to hear this, but it’s going to be okay. There is a God looking to heal you and show you the gifts he can give through your heartbreak, but he needs your participation. Heartbreak becomes a gift-giving situation when you began to change your perspective. I’m going to tell you the three gifts disguised in heartbreak and I want you to know that they will only be revealed when you make the decision to search for them.
Heartbreak reveals the broken pieces of you that may have attracted a heartbreaker and allows for the pulling up of unhealthy roots.
What I mean by this is that most times we end up with the people that are most like us, “you attract what you are” is what they say. “Brokenness begets more brokenness and hurt people hurt people.” If hurt people hurt people then the person that broke your heart was more than likely hurting somewhere too which is a sign of a broken piece somewhere. Somehow their broken piece was attracted to a broken piece in you and you guys ended up making a mess, but that’s okay because now you have the chance to look at yourself and ask what it was in you that attracted them to you and that gives you that chance to begin pulling up painful roots to begin healing.
Making it through heartbreak gives you the gift of having a testimony.
Learning and receiving God’s healing allows you to overcome heartbreak. The good part is this is but another testimony in your life journey. After healing share with others what has happened and encourage them that with God, effort, and faith, they can do it too!
Heartbreak is an opportunity to get closer to God.
I don’t know about you but when I’m hurting sometimes I just want to know that someone is there and in the times where I felt the most rejected and broken I was reminded that God would never leave or forsake me. I was reminded that his grace is sufficient, that he wanted to be strong although all I felt was weak and that he was looking to bind up the wounds plastered on my heart and spirit due to heartbreak.
The gift of heartbreak is not one wrapped and easily accessible, but one that caused you to avoid years and years of the cycle, years of questions, stress and pain, close, disconnect from the person you thought was your soul mate. Ultimately nobody looks at heartbreak as a gift but for the people who choose wholeness, the present begins unwrapping right before your eyes. The blessing in heartbreak is that with God…You’ll survive.