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How to avoid a Valentine’s day to regret

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It’s Valentine’s Day. SO STAY WOKE! People creeping, they gon buy you chocolate and try to catch you sleeping. So stay woke!  For many people, this is an important day. A time to show how much you really care. Thousands of proposals will take place, millions of dollars at the box office will be made and more flowers sold than any other two holidays combined!

Yes, you will have those friends who say it’s no big deal, and that you should show love every day. That may be true, but still over 54% of Americans will celebrate V-day.

Valentine’s day has been so prettily packaged and stuffed with chocolate and teddy bears to really sell us on a Romanticized day of love. Between the candle-light dinners, dark chocolate and, Dior cologne it’s pretty clear what Valentine’s Day end game is for many.

According to a 2017 Millennial Sex Survey which surveyed over 3,000 men and women, ages 18-34, 68 percent of Millennials say that Valentine’s Day is the occasion on which they have the most sex. It beat out a person’s wedding day by almost double, with only 37 percent saying that was the day they had the most sex!

So what is a person to do who is trying to keep their ways pure when society tells you Valentine’s Day is the one day of the year you don’t want to spend alone! When we have been made to believe that this is somehow a special day, which makes for special moments, so whoever you spend it with is special enough to share your special with. One of the ways to avoid a V-day you will regret is to realize it’s just another day. Your desirable meter is not predicated on whether or not you have a Valentine.

If you’re not in a relationship do not feel obligated to be taken on a date. The false sense of love and complimentary flattery through some romantic gestures could leave you vulnerable. It might also be a good idea to not go out with all your single friends if all they are going to talk about is how they want a valentine. As humans, we are hard-wired for intimacy, with an innate desire for attention, affection and to be wanted. So there is nothing wrong with wanting a valentine, just perhaps be mindful not to allow the day to dictate how far you’re willing to go for one.

Next way to avoid the V-day trap, is to realize that what you have been watching over all your life cannot be earned in just one night. There is no amount of chocolate, wine or dinner at Ruth Chris that makes you owe anybody anything. I’m not trying to be sexist here, but often times when a woman's into a guy, the social norm is that he somehow is due entrance into her vineyard. He is not. To avoid a regrettable valentine’s day, remember that just because he is your boyfriend does not mean you owe him anything.

Society has part of the equation right and the other half they disregard. The socially accepted terms for sex is love. Typically; but they leave out the fact that love requires commitment at its highest level to even have the audacity to ask for a woman to entrust her being at the highest level. In the simplest terms, don’t hand over the keys until they go to settlement.

The norm is the falsehood that if you love them you owe them access. When the reality is, there is never ownership of anything without paperwork.

Men, to avoid a valentine’s day you will regret, keep it simple, keep your hands to yourself and keep it local. You do not need to be flying her to Paris or even Atlantic City. Go far enough from your house where it’s not convenient to invite her back to your place. Keep the gifts tasteful, and moderate in price. Lastly, check your motives before you plan the date. For us men, we have it all in our head, way before it happens, so it’s important to clear those thoughts first.

Psalms 119: 16 How can a young man keep his way pure? By guarding it according to your word.

Dion Ringgold

Dion Ringgold

I was sorted into Ravenclaw house. That should tell you all you need to know. Content creator, conference speaker writer, Founder and Editor in Chief of InClub Magazine.